I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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