god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
