Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
