fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
