Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
