Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
