I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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