I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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