she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
