The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
