sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
