ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
