i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
