Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
