My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
...so i touched it.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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