No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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