Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
