just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
