What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
3 2 1 whiskey
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Randomize
