Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
