I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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