I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
