We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
