Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
