I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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