everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
