And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
