yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
