haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
