i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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