My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
