UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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