I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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