Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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