Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
