Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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