i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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