dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
