Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
