WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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