ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
