after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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