i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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