im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
