there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I love you. Go after that dick
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
