That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
