They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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