Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
