so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
