I faked an abortion last night.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You've changed since you got that strap on
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
