At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
