The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
